Goldilocks and the Three Paragraphs

Too Laid-back

Finding a spot to park in at college is near impossible. I mean, you can drive up and down and back and forth for as much as thirty minutes and still not find anyplace to put your car in. It's a real pain in the ass. Just the other day, no kidding, after driving around with no luck for ten minutes, I finally saw this guy get into his car to go. So I pulled up near him and waited while he pulled out. So he pulls out and, then—no warning, mind you—around the corner comes this totally rad blue car that screeches into my spot. Boy, did that piss me off! It made me think of that movie I saw last week: Fried Green Tomatoes. You can bet I felt like plowing into that guy's rear end, too.

Too Much Thesaurus!

Ascertaining a position in which to place your automobile at The Ohio State University is decidedly difficult. To illustrate this complaint, just the other day the writer of this paper maneuvered his car around the lot in excess of thirty minutes and remained unable to locate a place in which to park his mode of transportation. This incident was more than annoying. An additional illustration of the difficulty in ascertaining a position in which to park occurred this very morn. The writer of this paper circumnavigated the entire parking lot for ten minutes until he identified a gentleman on the verge of pulling his automobile out to proceed on his way. This writer hastened to position his own auto so as to take the aforementioned driver's space. Finally the gentleman backed out, and then, much to this writer's horror, around the corner sped an entirely ridiculously bright indigo car minus, it appeared, a muffler, and the driver usurped the space. This writer was more than a trifle outraged.

Just Right!

Finding a place to park at OSU is almost impossible. For example, this morning I drove back and forth for an entire fifteen minutes and still was unable to find a space. What is really irritating is that this was not a one-time occurrence; this sort of thing happens day after day. There have even been times when finding a parking space has taken as much as half an hour! Sometimes just finding the space is only half the job; then there's the matter of fighting for it. A few weeks ago I fruitlessly drove around the parking lot for ten minutes until, finally, I saw a student getting into his car to leave. So I pulled my car up nearby to wait for his space as he put his car in reverse. Just as he was backing out, a blue sports car screeched around the comer and slid quickly into my spot. A scene from the movie Fried Green Tomatoes flashed before my eyes. Like the character played by Kathy Bates, I just felt like ramming my car into that fellow's car over and over again.

Comments:

Laid-back ¶

Thesaurus ¶